Last week I had an unpleasant conversation.
She said: "I will not stilt anything because it takes too long. You need to tell your instructor to tell students not to glaze the bottom because I'm the only one who knows how to fire a kiln, and I won't stilt anything."
I said: "Ok, but would you please stilt and fire these (3) pieces? They are due Tuesday."
She said: "I won't stilt anything. I'm doing this as a favor and it takes too long."
She might have been well within her rights to say these things. As I feel it to be within my rights to have gotten upset about it—for the following reasons:
1. She is not the only one in the department who knows how to fire a kiln
2. A few seconds to set down a few stilts, is not a long time.
3. To ask me to give my instructor a message, was inappropriate and unprofessional (in my opinion)
4. The perception that helping other instructors' students is 'doing a favor,' even if true seems loaded with arrogance
5. I practically begged her for help, and she simply said no
6. I can't afford my own kiln. I wanted to be able to just go buy one because depending on others is a very vulnerable position
As a result of being upset, this conversation kept popping back in my head throughout the day, thus the feeling of being in an emotional roller coaster. I was calm and relaxed until that conversation would come back up and make me upset. I would then work on letting go: maybe she was having a bad day; this is in the past now; there was nothing interesting or valuable in that conversation, so why think about it again?--I would repeat to myself. As the day elapsed it got progressively easier to let go of the conversation and of being upset about it.
Eventually, I let go, and the waters became fully calm again.
She said: "I will not stilt anything because it takes too long. You need to tell your instructor to tell students not to glaze the bottom because I'm the only one who knows how to fire a kiln, and I won't stilt anything."
I said: "Ok, but would you please stilt and fire these (3) pieces? They are due Tuesday."
She said: "I won't stilt anything. I'm doing this as a favor and it takes too long."
She might have been well within her rights to say these things. As I feel it to be within my rights to have gotten upset about it—for the following reasons:
1. She is not the only one in the department who knows how to fire a kiln
2. A few seconds to set down a few stilts, is not a long time.
3. To ask me to give my instructor a message, was inappropriate and unprofessional (in my opinion)
4. The perception that helping other instructors' students is 'doing a favor,' even if true seems loaded with arrogance
5. I practically begged her for help, and she simply said no
6. I can't afford my own kiln. I wanted to be able to just go buy one because depending on others is a very vulnerable position
As a result of being upset, this conversation kept popping back in my head throughout the day, thus the feeling of being in an emotional roller coaster. I was calm and relaxed until that conversation would come back up and make me upset. I would then work on letting go: maybe she was having a bad day; this is in the past now; there was nothing interesting or valuable in that conversation, so why think about it again?--I would repeat to myself. As the day elapsed it got progressively easier to let go of the conversation and of being upset about it.
Eventually, I let go, and the waters became fully calm again.
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| Source: http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-then-and-now-super-storm-sandy-slider-htmlstory.html |
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